adieu to my alma mater...

December 1st 2012.. the D day the convocation day of bath 2008-12, B.des., Bf.Tech.,MFM.,M.des...... 4 years back( as i was from the bachelors programm no offense ot the masters batch)... students from far and wide, came to one of the most prestigious fashion colleges in india and on globe.. with hopes soaring high, endless dreams, full of life, full of enthusiasm.... strange faces slowly became the buddies of life..within no time, we learned the lessons of our lives.. came across beautiful people who taught us as our teachers , some lessons which will never ever be forgotten and will always move with us as we will take each step in life ahead. 4 years back as young and naive people .. little did we know that life would be so soo different the day we will be passing out after finishing our studies.. 4 years seemed a lifetime .. we thought it was like never ending, whenever the assignments or the work pressure used to be like reaching the brim. But yesterday , it all ended.

Yes, we shall never go back to that place now to attend any lectures, or hang around aimlessly in the cafetaria, heartlessly sit in the library for hours, watch cricket match in the cafetaria with the security guards, loaf around on the canteen valas bicycle(lol).. make lame excuses fo rbeing late to class... fight with the bestest of our buddies without even knowing the reasons, running to farthest parts of the world for sourcing , madly running around for printouts just a few hours before the jury, last mintue pinning and stapelling of garments which need to go on the ramp in like 5 secs, dancing like drunkards and doing funny shaadi kinda dances on nights like : spectrum and dandiya....

There have been biter sweet memoreis of college, but time just flew... and here we are... out in this big bad world now.... this place taught us the biggest and smallest of the lessons of life, which will definitely be very important in every decisons and endeavour in life that we shall take... this last day was a day of reunions.. and also some misunderstandings.. which may never be sorted out.. but then as it is said.. time is the best healer..

in the end would love to thank my college.. for whetever it gave me... the pride of being called a "Graduate" specially.. met lovely people here  perfect teachers.. awaseome juniors... brilliant seniors and some of the bestest buddies for lifetime...

time to say goodbye.. but when we are together by heart.. there are no goodbyes... 

Met my classmates, batchmates, teachers, even the guards and other helpers... and the best part was that i re united with some of those people with whom i was in a very strong bond at a point of time.. and due to some misunderstandings those bonds had faltered but not broken, that's what i realized when i hugged those people yesterday, never wanted to end this beautiful phase of my college life on any sort of "grudge notes".... but ya there was a little disappointment as well.. on the part of some people who had been like very close to me.. and just due to some misunderstandings.. they were so ready to give up this beautiful thing called" friendship"...without even trying to clear things .. guess they wanted such an occasion .. where they could just slip out silently.. i guess that person was the only one whom i didn't hug, as i was openly ignored when i took an initiative ...well may be they never wanted only to bbe in that sweet memory list of mine...but no love lost.. its all good and one  thing i have learned now so far is that instead of cribbing about the past.. we should just flow with the future and present current... life is beautiful and i guess a little too short to hold grudges.. hope i too am able to forgive and also forget that friend of mine... for whatever happened.. and rememeber only the good times spent with them.. :)

mundane life...

well well well.... after a whole lot of time i am back again with a piece of my life... actually my net wasn't working thanks to Ankit (one of my very good friends with whom i studied in school till class 5 and then we met this year like after almost 13 yrs......!!!!!! gosh! that's a pretty long time i must say but then as he too is studying in Mumbai itself so we are like back as school buddies again) its working again yippie!!

All these days a lot of things happened, after grandma left for her heavenly abode... life has changed, yes a lot, and now it will always be the same, but as time passes we all have to learn to adapt ourselves to the changes, even if we don't wish to..life sometimes doesn't give us choices.

Well i am really not very interested to work my fingers upon the keyboard, text my mind .. use apt words and then end up writing about office and work, therefore a big NO NO, as in a nutshell, things at work are never in place only, and despite of trying like so hard to sneak peak and do blogging. i couldnt manage to :(.. as i was too busy...

but i am happy as i am able to write again. feels good, as my heart has this lock which has lost its key and despite of many tries i am unable to speak out so many things which i used to earlier..therefore writing my feelings and thoughts down, becomes even more imperative..
From past sometime, have been fighting and there has been so  much misunderstanding between some of my closest friend and me... and happened even with one of my bestest friends.. it was a bit shocking how, that friend whom i had always considered like so close, and never had any intentions to hurt or make him feel bad.. chose someone else's friendship over me.. but then as things happened, got messy and nastier by days.. i realized that its really useless to expect so much, i had changed myself completely towards any such expectations but then again some day or the other it kept coming up .. but as i know myself.. m definitely a "hard way" learner.. :) i won't ever blame or curse my friend. i know he never thought bad of me or any such thing but ya, may be with time when such things happen repeatedly ... we tend to move a little away from even the closest of our people..its not his fault.. but what to do...things are sometime involuntary ..

And most of the time its definitely a bad phase and tons of misunderstandings that make you think all wrong only, but that's also not the"only" case.. its all a part and parcel of the same thing, and as it is said.. learn to take life as it comes..

In all this hunting and chasing..i happened to grab hold of a book, absolutely not my genre, and probably the thickest i have ever read... the book called
" KRISHNA KEY" by ashwin sanghi.. as i have some sort of inclination and fascination towards lord krishna. i just bout it , and for the first time in 23 years, read a historic fiction, as i am not a book worm or a voracious reader...but as i keep picking up any random genres and just start off.. its not that bad.. .. these days i am reading " the last lecture" by randy pauch, a book written by a dying man who wants to give a lesson , say those last few things and share his feelings, tell stories, crack anecdotes and say those last few things to his loved ones and even to the world, the concept on the whole seemed very intriguing to me but i dont knw the book isisnt seeming that interesting as such, though have just started,, hehehe too soon to judge.

apart from that, watched this movie called" the life of pi".. i was like spell bound, the whole concept was so thrilling, beautiful imagination, wonder when a  human can be that creative..that how creative GOD must be....also watched the last part of the twilight saga..breaking dawn 2...sadly the saga ends with this part, wished it continued.. :( but then what begins has to end... phew!!! feels relieved.. today . after venting out such small yet important segments of my day to day life :)...

a playground called "LIFE"

One of those moments..when things at your personal as well as professional ends are absolutely haywire..friction everywhere...
why are we always standing at such a crossroad every second day.. where you have to just gulp a lump ..down your throat and show the bestest of your smiles?

certain times things cant even be shared with family , friends , acquaintances or anyone at all.. seems like one will shatter in fact we do shatter but then again you have to get your own duster and a broom and gather your shattered self..
Every soul is literally hunting for "love"...which doesn't even seem to exist...then why are these souls running behind something so virtual so superficial...something extinct...a friend of mine.. who recently became a good friend id say, seems to be in love...with someone who doesn't even believe in this word... despite of my regular and copious trials ..it all seems to be going in vain, how do i make him understand that all this is just a matter of a few moments a few things that might have clicked you by may be talking to someone regularly or something..?
Sometimes i feel really sad.. as it is the very first time that he seems to have fallen in such a feeling and he too feels that its an eternal and never ending feeling.. little does he know that its all a very dull feeling..which never works out....the next moment i also get that feel that .. i am discouraging someone who might be lucky in this gamble of the love thingy... but as i know the person he likes is just opposite to what he is...as in... their natures , views, thoughts, likes dislikes everything is way apart... 

In my own life going off track, sometimes i feel how do i help the ones close to me get on track?the helpless feeling of not being able to do anything about your loved one's issues.. really churns your heart bad...

There is surely something drastic about this year.. the prediction of 2012... don't know f it literally meant that things will end the earth the living beings or the mankind.. but ya on the emotional front... it really did kill a lot of things inside..i really do not know what this year end will bring forth.. but this year will surely be one of the most memorable years in my life.. one by one .. things kept slipping away...and all i could do was just watch... with plain eyes and an expressionless face... all i wish for now.. is that this year ends on a happy note.( which seems to be quite rarely possible)..tonight i want to make a profound prayer for all the loved ones of mine.. close to me in any respect.. attached to me by any means .. with or not with me physically..
as i know.. i can only be happy when these people will be like very happy and in deep solace..all our happiness is intertwined and interlinked...and i am sure.. god almighty will surely make things much much better and bearable for all of us.....

was listening to one of my favorite songs .. by the maestro : A.R. Rehman..(shauk hai~ movie GURU)

a line from this song always resounds in my head...

"kaash ye zindagi... khel hi khel mey kho gayi hoti..."

 and makes me wonder .. what if it was true.. and life could actually be a fun filled play ground..a courtyard where we all used to play as kids and the rules of the game could change as per our convenience... when the youngest of our siblings would get upset after they got caught and were upset about it.. the elder one would step in and ignore it completely and give them another chance...just for a small smile on their face...

the ultimate truth of life

The sand slowly slipped from the hourglass ....and my AMMA...left for her heavenly abode on 7th october 2012,.. cant explain or express the hapless feeling i am going through, the last time i met her was in the month of January .. she bid me a hearty goodbye and a good luck too as i was about to go for my final year exams in college.. little did i know that it was the last time i was seeing her... wished i could tick the clock backwards or i had the dexterousness of some big scientist to build up my own time machine and go back in time, i know it was impossible to stop her from leaving for her eternal journey but all i wanted was to bid her a proper and loving goodbye.

i never imagined i would see her that way all wrapped up in a white sheet. pale and ice cold, with no sign of life.. seemed like she was just having  a nap.. the only thing missing was the way in which she used to exhale her breath while sleeping that made a funny sound, the way she snored.... all that was missing was "one breath of life"...

With my grandma's departure, i suddenly understood this thing called" the ultimate truth of life"... which is death.. we love each other, we fight for each other , we kill each other we do so many things. but in the end.. what remains is.. just melancholy , emptiness and old memories in our subconscious and conscious mind.

Jainism states.. that our jeeva or the soul takes birth in "3 pals" or within 3 moments after the soul leaves the body..its all so well calculated and planned. which means she too must have had a rebirth by now.. in fact way before.. all i wish for now is, immense peace, satisfaction ,solace and happiness for her, wherever she has started her new life cycle, may the lord be with her and provide her all the necessary requirements and may she fulfill her karmas gratefully ..

JAI JINENDRA.

just a "PEACE" of mind

A mundane day breaks..the earth wrapped in a chiffon layer of sunlight...

people wake up, with a lot of new things in mind, what has to be done for the day, all plans, all the dads surely must be thinking about the presentation they have to make in the office while a housewife mom must be worried about what she has to cook for breakfast and hopefully she makes it fast, and her husband and kids don't get late for school.

in all this hustle bustle, as the day begins... at some point of the day, even while working, when your are absolutely tied up... some things.. some memories, some people in the past, some incidents, some recited words or dialogues, do linger in the back of your head, and the sometimes seem to haunt you. Just when you feel that you have started living life with a new hope or aim, life stops you and makes you turn back and see... that the past.. no matter how much you wish to forget or come out of.. does haunt and follow you, curse you and blame you always.

Life is a series of uncertain events, do we ever realize ... how many times we just miss out death in a normal day to work? does that thought ever run down our brain, that may be... while crossing the road today, when we just missed that car and took a deep breath and felt that adventurous escape, we actually could have died there and then. Even when everyone is aware of all the short time span for which we all are together in this world, all we do is "FIGHT" and hold grudges.... experienced a very shocking display of emotions today at work, people were howling and pouncing at each other like beasts, though  its all a part of the experience... but why cant we just wait for a minute and think....did we really make today a memorable one?? for ourselves and for others too?? a memory that would always bring a smile on their faces.. a memory that would give them a positive vibe.. a boost of happiness..

As far as i can see( as much as my contact lenses allow me to)... sometimes there's "ALL LOVE NO WAR" and the very next moment, each and every corner converts into a battleship, be it work, the local trains, the general store guy, Bai at home, your own roomates, the roomates of your roomates, your friend's, freind's friend's, there friends, acquaintance .. everyone seems to be just looking for one chance to SHOOT the other person. Where is the humanity? Love i personally don't understand so id better cal it humanity, kindness, and compassion for others.


Hope to see a positive day tomorrow and a brighter side of life too.. :)

puzzled..

sometimes..life really makes you feel like a piece of puzzle.. that is wrongly packed in a wrong game box... theres no place for it to fit in...no requirement.. away from its slot..far away..today..am very hurt..and not because of an enemy.. not because of an acquaintance.. but because of one of the closest people in life... i guess..all the people who come so close to us.. definitely come so close to hurt us so much and teach us a never forgetting lesson...funny... but true.. a friend who had always been soo close always there...actually went away from me today..something just died inside... i know things will never be the same..but then..i dont knw its a confusing state...whom to blame ..its actually my own nature may be ..i guess somethings are just supposed to be left to time.....

office office

Its September 1st, and its our boss's birthday today, at office,(its my 3rd month of work..just started working :)) everyone is busy preparing for it... ohh i havnt mentioned much about people at office and all the new friends i made recently.
The day i joined, it didnt seem that cool as such i mean it was a very mixed feeling , i am sure most of us feel the same when its like our very 1st job. Just out of college , my friend namrata and i joined this company together actually in better words, we got placed together .. when i entered office , saw this bright blue color with a cool gray combination everywhere.. the best part was when i got my own desk wow.. a good feeling :D hehehe.. my own pc, and bla bla bla , well how my office is i shall go on with that now.. i work in a garment industry, as a designer .. people are absolutely chilled out here.. but whats worth watching in office is,... the second half..:D after lunch eveyrone seems to just go in a different state of mind, theres madness everywhere, running for approvals, there's a huge tugg of war, and on one side.. funny songs from the old rapchik hindi movies keep playing its really a sight :P....and all this madness is followed by a funny local train journey back home, gosh the way women fight and panic is like unbelievable ...threats, warnings, screams, scratching, pinching yelling... you cant even think of anything else.. but ya it really makes you realize that you are alive, because you wish and pray for just a small breath of fresh air, as you are stuffed and jam packed , in that small train compartment, as if Hitler has repeated history and its again the black hole tragedy. 

once i escape from this railway jungle, its time for the "BEST BUSES" what an ironic name they have been given, BEST... god knows from which angle :P... the biggest problem i face is.. that the numbers of the buses are written in the hindi counting, and it s soo damn confusing, everyday i end up running behind an anonymous bus and ask the conductor or the driver if that bus would go to my destination?...pheww.... that's  
how a mundane day is in my life... instead of working right now i am blogging here :P... hehehe