amma...

time has its own ways to get things done, every year around the month of july-august only i suddenly get enlightened to pen down my emotions :) funny thing...

a lot has happened in all these days, many people went many people came, many are there only where they always were, many are just there superficially. college is over now, work has started, things are growing, time is running out, and there is soo much to do stilll..

in all this madness and rage, my life has still been going at its normal smooth course, thanks to all the good people in my life and around me, college did end on a bit bitter note but then as they say, "sabra ka phal meetha hota hai!! " so i guess i can wait for all the fruits and then in the end i can nicely make a fruit salad and hog on it :D.....

I guess that was too much of unnecessary introduction, let me come to the point now, today this post will be dedicated to one of my oldest in fact, not one of my
my grandmother.....

 but THE OLDEST friend of mine...

"अम्मा ""

life is strange... when we are born the only person we know is our mother only, the very 1st one we see in this world, then slowly we meet other relatives , family members, siblings, school starts, we make friends and this list of knowing people goes on and on and on.....

i too started this way, but in all this i also had a very close buddy, that was amma, a small fair figure, wrapped in a cotton kota saree, reddish brown hair as she puts that weird colored dye, a meek physique, solitaires sparkling in the ears with her spex on,, she sits in the winter sun and reads news paper...
her life lies in 3 things.... her transistor, classical indian music and peanuts... amma i still remmeber how on those  chilled winter nights, we used to put that "angeethi"(coal furnace) and you used to set the peanuts on its brim to make them warm and crispy, those shivering mornings, when you used to tell me to wipe myself properly after bath else i would catch cold and i used to get my tiffin ready right before time for school ......

on odd days you used to make semolina kheer, for sis and myself....the best cook :), the best teacher, who taught me maths which i hated like anything, showed me the world with your eyes, when i had almost hidden myself away from geography, took me back in history and taught me stories of the brave jhaansi ki rani, yeah thats what you used to call me whenever i used to fall down and start crying,always worried you used to be about my future " you still haven't donr your home work? your summer vacations are ending soon?" thats what your dialogues always used to be, which in turn made me give you dirty cold looks.

How will i ever forget those evenings, when i used to comb your hair and make two plats out of it and we both used to share a hearty laugh, your getting irritated when i used to pick up things from your study table and never keep them back , those fixed hindi daily soaps that you used to watch by almost sitting inside the television :)...moments when you used to oil my hair and curse me for having such dry hair and never oiling them timely, those afternoons when you used to sleep off while reading a book or the newspaper with your spex on and them leave them somewhere, and kept looking for them for days....

those trips to holy pilgrims we traveled together, those days of poojas in the temple, when you used to have a big proud smile on your face after seeing me attending it cause otherwise i always used to get your taunt" the whole society comes to the temple except for our house " .

those hot sunny days, when we both sat in the rickshaw and went slowly chit chatting , to your tailor or some bank work, and i know you hated me for making you bankrupt on the way, for reminding you to buy unnecessary things ahahaha.....all the lovely cosy nights we all spent together sitting in the quilt playing cards and ludo....

i know i left my best friend mid way.... slowly and suddenly.... ill never be able to forgive myself for abandoning you.... lonely and all on your own....as i grew... my heart shrank smaller and smaller... that love for you never died but ya.. priorities changed... school then college i still remember that day when i was leaving for college, you did cry :( and so did i...after babaji(grandpa) left... i promised myself that ill never let you be alone.. i did keep it but ya after sometime i did break it too....

i know you wont be with me for long, but i wish....i get another chance , just to make you feel special and cherish all those moments again with you..... please don't leave so soon..... :(

a child's caprice

awww it was my birthday, nursery class, posing with dad:P

new years eve, mum tryng to handle all three of us together, :P my sis me and ma bro, and god knows y v both(me and sis) are wearing those lehangas :P i loved to dance after wearing it hahaaha

one of my bday parties, dts my best buddy in red and black freny :):*
thats my sisy and i, posing donno for what, but i have that fake smile, didnt know how to smile actually the natural one :p
my family,cousins, mom, taiji, and my traffic graphic dress,, not so clear though, thats me in front of that lady in orange, dts my mom:P

the green skirt dress i mentioned above, gosh, what was wrong with my taste then, :-s..with harsh bhaiya and jyotika (cousins) its rakshabanshan i reckon

wonder why i made that face?

these pics can be related to, after reading those lines with a few highlights :)
while cleaning up my old closet of memories today , i found an old TOYBOX :) and this is what i found in there..:

A plastic hammer, with which i used to hit every body, gosh, had those psychopath killer traits since then.

A bed sheet, which had a print f this big circle drawn in the very bottom, which i always used 2 fear falling in , as i thought it was a well.. ahahaha, how innocent we are as small babies.

A Blue teddy bear, who used to play a small drum, gawwddd,, my sissy never gave it to me.. but i always used to snatch it hehehawhaw (satanic traits).

My beloved doggys, Aster, scooby, lyka, candy :((((((((((((((((((( RIP u all...

A fish game, my uncle brought for my sister actually, which i was so fond of, that i once even went to my maid's house and got it back , as my mom gave it to her without my consent ( how could you do so mum, not fair )

A Pink granular, sweet smelling rubber ball, loved to sniff it , it had such a nice fragrance, which failed all the perfumes of Arab , used to admire it like anything..( what was wrong with me :P?)

An Ice cream applique dress,and traffic graphic dress, used to always look for a bus on myslef whenever i wore it :P i had plans to wear it till my last breath, it had to be hidden somewhere in some corner by my maid and mom,only then did i let it go....( fashion conscious , though now i am not).

OH how can i forget that yellow pencil case, it had this weird sliding mechanism , but my sister, she always used to lure me with some other special effects and as a fool i always used to fall a prey,,, (sigh)... never mind.

That Multi- colored Xylophone mommmmm why did you have to give it away to one of my cousins grrrrrrr......

its a little weird , is it not? every girl has this madness for a 'doll'' and i haven't mentioned mine as yet, well its IMPOSSIBLE, i was just taking a special time out for them :D

i had 8 dolls, which were baptized and named, they were mostly catholic , as i loved those english names, though i always used to name the servant barbie as ''sheela'' hahaha... madness , i remember, once one of my maid's daughters who must have been 4-5 years elder to me hardly, and a ''Bachelor in superstitions''( B.sc) told me that dolls came to life after 12.... creeppyyyy, and that night , after bidding them all goodnight, i said our holy chants, and did those mambo jumbo actions too, and slept so peacefully that those bad spirits are trapped now. (NOW that's a child's belief. :P)

one of the most integral parts of my toybox, is surely my bestest buddy, FRENY.. :*:*... she has been such a patient listener to my prattle, she should be awarded, surely.. i had those weirdest of ideas, of going to our favorite film star's house IN a , BOX... that would be our house, which will be a make shift one, stationed right in front of his gates, guess who???? Hrithik roshan :P..had hots for him, since he first came in kaho na pyar hai.

my list is yet not over:

Those erasers, bulb shaped, i remember that night i had turned the house upside down to get one of those, we even went to the market after 12, but it was obviously closed,( where was my common sense?)

That story book, which had kiri gami( type of origami in which cutting is allowed), it was just soo beautiful, each and every page i saw used to stand up to me, just loved watching it, and there was this story also about the fox and the rabbit, used to read it over and over again, as i loved it visuals...

Threptin biscuits!!!.. yummy.. sis and i just loved them, though it was a medicine but we never made it feel so, you see we are very warm people :D

That plush clown, which i never actually got , i still crave to have it but i left it as those days that soap used to come, WOH!! i got scared with clowns for a while:P

A few cassette tapes, specially, (whigfield, MJ, Diana keys, Britney spears......)

A whole bunch of old snaps, captured moments and beautiful memories :)

Oh my room and my cupboard, which held the poster of my Heartthrob, Leonardo Dicaprio... its like pressing a wrong nerve, i still have feelings for him :(..though i never let it out on my face :D

well my list will go on and on, and anyways many things are lost also now, from my toybox, but their memory and presence still lingers in my heart.

Lastly, my little idol of kanha:(.. which i lost not just once but twice, i know he is annoyed with me that's why he left me and went away.....heartbroken.