dhinchak dandiya

finalyyy... dont know after how many days i am writing today was DANDIYA NIGHT!! at college, wahaaoo... well its not so wow also as exciting as its name seems :P..we started practicing in between of our exam jury only, have many gujju girls..in my class, they danced so beautifully, plus i just looovee to dance, be it any form :).. would love to go for this proper professional one some day :) as for now let me tell how it happens in our college :D for better explanation:

• there"s a useless DJ, who tried to be really cool ... but its actually on the contrary .
• this time we all got ready on time but the best part was.. the rains wow.. all of a sudden from nowhere it rained.. everyone thought it was a flop show but naah.. it did happen with full mastii!!..
• A whole lot of people, some over dressed, some under dressed, some least bothered .
• those carefree and care full people at the same time are absolutely '' clueless'' about what's dandiya or even garba ... gosh... what madness happens. people are trying to figure out somehow how do 1 move that 1 step.. but as always after 5 mins... they are back to there ''baraati dance''... ''dhinchak''...
• but it was fun... after sulking for more than a week now, i was really happy for a change,dressed up with full zeal and excitement... love to dress up when i am in a mood, else usually i am just-out-of-bed types :p.
• my roomi , who happens to be from ahmedabad, she taught me garba ... waaahhoooo i just loved it.. always wanted to do that dance in those big huge circles how they show on tv, though never got a chance, but i did learn and it is so soo nice, overwhelms you completely :)
• aha forgot, something was seriously wrong with me today, i was on this fast, but as always i was dancing like a drunkard ..now my legs are completely out of order...
• yeah.. the day was nice... ended on a happy note.. would be even happier if i get a good night sleep.. which i surely will get as i am D-E-A-D tired..

who will cry when you die?

well i am not talking about the book... just another thought, something i guess i'll have to

share it out on this blog window only, as i am not very good with verbal expres

sion, i

can counsel people,

but i can't express myself, its easier to pen it down, something that's happening continuously, since always, there's this question i have...

what fun do people get in , imitating someone and then acting that they didn't even notice?? behaving as if they always were this way when they themselves know it well that they never were so?..you meet someone, like something about it, yeah its no big deal if you pick it up.. but why the hell do you have to show it out as if it is your own original idea? WHY IS IT SO TOUGH TO COMPLIMENT OR GIVE SOME ONE THAT DESERVED CREDIT?

its not a big issues, if you are criticized for something you are not good at or you made a mistake in it... but it really kills you when you are pin pointed on something you are soo good at....its so unbelievable........ when your time is good, you find happiness in everything you do, in fact, in good times, even if u are upset with something, whatever you do really works out!!.. its so freaking true!!!... may be sounding doltish but it is my personal experience...and when your times are dark, whatever you do what ever you say is just misinterpreted , or goes unheard... personal experience again.. :)

i believe in stars, i believe in planets, i believe in good times and so do i in bad times.... people may say ''its crap, superstition etc etc''... but when it happens its impact is felt... generally, people are very good with giving lectures, that, why don't you do this that etc?... its really impossible for the likes of them to understand that its really painful, when all your trials fail, for no reason....it smothers you deeply, when everything you touch becomes obsolete... luck is not everything but it is ''something''....

whenever we are with some one whenever they are sad, and need a shoulder to rely upon cry upon.... we are remembered.... but whenever times are gay, we are forgotten, people move on.... happily :) don't even turn back, even to check if they have taken their bag or not.... once they walk they just walk...blindly.

a broken mirror is never remembered for all the beauty it once reflected, another question"".... aren't we actually forgetting our own beauty by forgetting that mirror?''

i used to feel.. that ya.. people are selfish let them be, its their wish,mostly its said..ya i became selfish as the situations were such, i do believe in it but to some extent..when some one becomes selfish due to circumstances it isin't a permanent change, deep down inside they are good which they were before, but people who were born selfish never change... but its painful to see, that such people only prosper these days.... even god is on their side..... so it means.. if you aren't selfish you do not deserve to be here?? has god made this earth only for those people????

then i guess.... it is a big question ".... who will cry when you die?'' look inside and evaluate yourself.... if you are selfish if you are self centered... you will have a good funeral :) otherwise... keep wondering....''who will cry when you die??''

god is.. one of us..

after throwing out buckets full of stagnant water, from my cornea and nasal cavities , got back to my same old facebook profile page, just when i noticed one of my friend's status, reading out a few lines from one of my favorite songs .... ''what if god was one of us?? just a slob like one of us... just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home... back up to heaven all alone...''

whenever i listen to this song, it really takes me in a reverie, i start flying in my own world of whims and fancies, where there is God, my closest friend... whom i always forget, so i have decided to take this time out, to apologize to him, though he is never angry with anybody, as said by my wise mom, but, everyone needs love, appreciation, care, concern so does he. he does have a name,he does have a face,god is one of us, he too is a stranger on the bus, a slob like us , a loner sometimes, who is approached by myriad , but loved by a handful .... he needs phone calls, he needs emails( bruce almighty) :P....he is just like us, who loves to love and loves to be loved, he gets jealous, he is demanding, he is even a psycho sometimes, he is beautiful , he may be a she also :D he is his own biggest magic :)...

he's a child

he's a mother

he's a boyfriend

he's a brother

he's a stranger

he's a friend

his presence may fade for sometime, but he is the only companion , who was and will always be there till the end...

why is god always shown as an old wise man with a big white beard?

its a small realization, that keeps coming back to me , and then again fades back in the mist, the realization which i am still not able to accept, people say, think about yourself, let the rest go to hell... but.. god never asked us to do this ever.. did he? today, while walking on the empty streets around 11 in the night, i realized i was alone, physically, as well as mentally, where was my mind? it was still hunting for a companion, its easy to tell your physical being to adapt yourself to a situation, but to tell your intellectual being, it isin't very easy.

god, you always walk with us, behind us or may be ahead of us, where ever you walk, your main motto is ''just to be with us'' and become our holy guide. i know its pretty doltish, to keep looking for a skeleton covered with skin, always around you, but we all are lunatics, as this realization requires very high intellect, our secret pact , our treaties, our gossips, our confessions... where are they??? i promise i will find them back... very soon, :)....

yeah yeah god is great, yeah yeah god is good, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah....

a child's caprice

awww it was my birthday, nursery class, posing with dad:P

new years eve, mum tryng to handle all three of us together, :P my sis me and ma bro, and god knows y v both(me and sis) are wearing those lehangas :P i loved to dance after wearing it hahaaha

one of my bday parties, dts my best buddy in red and black freny :):*
thats my sisy and i, posing donno for what, but i have that fake smile, didnt know how to smile actually the natural one :p
my family,cousins, mom, taiji, and my traffic graphic dress,, not so clear though, thats me in front of that lady in orange, dts my mom:P

the green skirt dress i mentioned above, gosh, what was wrong with my taste then, :-s..with harsh bhaiya and jyotika (cousins) its rakshabanshan i reckon

wonder why i made that face?

these pics can be related to, after reading those lines with a few highlights :)
while cleaning up my old closet of memories today , i found an old TOYBOX :) and this is what i found in there..:

A plastic hammer, with which i used to hit every body, gosh, had those psychopath killer traits since then.

A bed sheet, which had a print f this big circle drawn in the very bottom, which i always used 2 fear falling in , as i thought it was a well.. ahahaha, how innocent we are as small babies.

A Blue teddy bear, who used to play a small drum, gawwddd,, my sissy never gave it to me.. but i always used to snatch it hehehawhaw (satanic traits).

My beloved doggys, Aster, scooby, lyka, candy :((((((((((((((((((( RIP u all...

A fish game, my uncle brought for my sister actually, which i was so fond of, that i once even went to my maid's house and got it back , as my mom gave it to her without my consent ( how could you do so mum, not fair )

A Pink granular, sweet smelling rubber ball, loved to sniff it , it had such a nice fragrance, which failed all the perfumes of Arab , used to admire it like anything..( what was wrong with me :P?)

An Ice cream applique dress,and traffic graphic dress, used to always look for a bus on myslef whenever i wore it :P i had plans to wear it till my last breath, it had to be hidden somewhere in some corner by my maid and mom,only then did i let it go....( fashion conscious , though now i am not).

OH how can i forget that yellow pencil case, it had this weird sliding mechanism , but my sister, she always used to lure me with some other special effects and as a fool i always used to fall a prey,,, (sigh)... never mind.

That Multi- colored Xylophone mommmmm why did you have to give it away to one of my cousins grrrrrrr......

its a little weird , is it not? every girl has this madness for a 'doll'' and i haven't mentioned mine as yet, well its IMPOSSIBLE, i was just taking a special time out for them :D

i had 8 dolls, which were baptized and named, they were mostly catholic , as i loved those english names, though i always used to name the servant barbie as ''sheela'' hahaha... madness , i remember, once one of my maid's daughters who must have been 4-5 years elder to me hardly, and a ''Bachelor in superstitions''( B.sc) told me that dolls came to life after 12.... creeppyyyy, and that night , after bidding them all goodnight, i said our holy chants, and did those mambo jumbo actions too, and slept so peacefully that those bad spirits are trapped now. (NOW that's a child's belief. :P)

one of the most integral parts of my toybox, is surely my bestest buddy, FRENY.. :*:*... she has been such a patient listener to my prattle, she should be awarded, surely.. i had those weirdest of ideas, of going to our favorite film star's house IN a , BOX... that would be our house, which will be a make shift one, stationed right in front of his gates, guess who???? Hrithik roshan :P..had hots for him, since he first came in kaho na pyar hai.

my list is yet not over:

Those erasers, bulb shaped, i remember that night i had turned the house upside down to get one of those, we even went to the market after 12, but it was obviously closed,( where was my common sense?)

That story book, which had kiri gami( type of origami in which cutting is allowed), it was just soo beautiful, each and every page i saw used to stand up to me, just loved watching it, and there was this story also about the fox and the rabbit, used to read it over and over again, as i loved it visuals...

Threptin biscuits!!!.. yummy.. sis and i just loved them, though it was a medicine but we never made it feel so, you see we are very warm people :D

That plush clown, which i never actually got , i still crave to have it but i left it as those days that soap used to come, WOH!! i got scared with clowns for a while:P

A few cassette tapes, specially, (whigfield, MJ, Diana keys, Britney spears......)

A whole bunch of old snaps, captured moments and beautiful memories :)

Oh my room and my cupboard, which held the poster of my Heartthrob, Leonardo Dicaprio... its like pressing a wrong nerve, i still have feelings for him :(..though i never let it out on my face :D

well my list will go on and on, and anyways many things are lost also now, from my toybox, but their memory and presence still lingers in my heart.

Lastly, my little idol of kanha:(.. which i lost not just once but twice, i know he is annoyed with me that's why he left me and went away.....heartbroken.

something we all know

ahem.... the fitness program is going on well.. in fact, too well, the best part is, i get sleep these days, which used to happen before also, but on the wrong time, but yeah these days i do get proper sleep, sometimes to much, :)... as we all know , as we all see, as we all observe, things in the beginning are mostly very smooth and calm, as the waters start turning turbulent.... people start disentangling , its truly said when the times are hard, even your own shadow steps aside.

well something like this, happens with my so called" group".. who is always together, and happy whenever the times are a little tricky, everyone starts remembering their own 'sweet grudges' with the person concerned , and that's when they have to start acting the weirdest of their kind. Ahh... i have become a little too shameless, rather carefree to pay much heed actually, in fact i have even stopped asking certain people, about ''anything at all'.. i guess they are meant to be on their own only, because, no matter how good you are to them, they make it a point to remain impertinently annoying , therefore, a sweet, warm "BUBYE" :).. keep making a face and sit in a corner and enjoyy!!!...

right now i am sitting at a friend's place hey, i have mentioned her before in my earlier posts, PREETO :).. she is one gem of a person, rarely one can find people like preeti , who actually want just a 'loving heart' nothing else, no materialistic demands :)... after a few months, preeti will be leaving from Mumbai, for her graduation project, i know i will be very lonely then, but i have prepared myself quite well, for such situations now, earlier i too had a friend.. who still is a friend but now 'just a friend'. whom i though would be a friend who'll be cherished for the rest of my life, but no i was so very wrong :). In fact, there are many more people, who were very close to my heart, rather, seemed close, but as the days passed, and changed to years, those names have also faded and will soon get blurred forever, but i do not have any regrets, except for a few, where i know i have been wrong... Anyways, life moves on , its not just me facing this, everyone does .... AAAAAAAAAAAA have a fast today and these guys in the kitchen are cooking 'chole rice' :(... sign... no issues, my time will also come :D..

i guess, these passed years and experiences have really taught me to be''deaf''

couple of these days have been very different and completely stirring( i had a meeting with my ''may be'' would be in laws, who very sweetly rejected me hmmm..lets see, what happens next, fingers crossed, a few incidents were shattering(but that didn't actually happen, may be , later on :) ), a few were unpleasantly pleasant , few were knowingly shocking, but wait a minute, why the hell are those things repeated again and again and yet again??? we all know people change, we all know they start acting like crocodiles , and what not, then aaaaaaaaa.....i think i need some goodnight sleep:)...

a pair of shoes...

• 
  

3rd september.... morning 10:30 am

Naina: ''Ramya wake up its 10:30..''

she opened her eyes at once, as if a scene from some movie was being shot, and Ramya had to open her eyes as Naina finished delivering her dialogue..

unlike her daily routine.. Ramya woke up, got ready, fought with the lift door of her society, which always gave her a tough time. Grabbed a quick breakfast from subway , caught a cab and left for lower parel, on the way she picked up , one of her friends, dhaanya.

Both of them studied in the same college, they had to go to lower parel , to meet a photographer, regarding their, styling shoot, as both of them were fashion students.

''its raining cats and dogs.. gosh.. i forgot to carry my umbrella", said Dhaanya.

''that's alright, anyways, we just have to meet him and come back, we don't have to roam or do any shopping.. in fact, we shouldn't , at least not me''.

That fear, that disappointment, that despair, had never left Ramya, since that day, when her father, left her mother and little Ramya just 4 months old, since then, her mother, Sunaina, could somehow, fulfill her only child's school dues and , with the help of her ancestral jwelry, she managed to get a MUTHOOTH finance loan, and that's how she managed to send her daughter to college.

It was pouring madly, on the town side streets of Mumbai. A very common sight in the monsoons. Both of them, alighted the cab, paid him off, and started moving toward the , old , dilapidated building, which read "MADAN MOHAN TOWERS''.

" godd.. don't tell me, this guy has his office here, in this ''kabootarkhana''.. he seems to be a well off person, at least , good enough to have a proper office" Dhaanya shrugged.

''Never judge a book by its cover '',... Ramya smiled.

The seven storied building , had a lift, which seemed to tell its age old tragic story, its door seemed to be in such a bad condition, that it would pin out of the walls, with a slight extra jerk. The sad condition of the lift, made the two damsels, take the stairs, they panted and reached the office, which was stationed on the 5th floor.

To their surprise, the door of the office,seemed to tell a much happy story than the lift, holding a name plate of '' JAMAL GUJRAL'' , they entered the stain glassed door.

The office was like a new born child , as compared to its mother, an elderly woman, who lost all its charm due to aging( probably it did'nt use OLAY age defying cream ).

"Excuse me, we would like to meet Mr. Gujral, we have an appointment".. inquired Ramya.

" I am very sorry ma'am , but Mr. Gujral is out , for a week, he left, for New York, early morning, on some urgent business calls''.

Both , Ramya and Dhaanya, gave disgusting, at the same time, disappointing looks to each other. With no other option left, both of them took a leave.

It didn't seem to stop raining at all, they decided to have a cup of tea at the nearby stall.

'' Hey, look at those bangles, ohh!! i so wanted to buy them since the farewell party, i had seen that, Monishka , wear them, hey please, lets go and have a look. P-L-E-A-S-EEEE"?? begged Dhaanya.

Ramya, always kept herself from falling a prey to the whole "shopping mania".. because she knew, how hard it was for her mother to manage even her daily expenses. But obviously, deep down inside, she always longed for so many things which she never got, one of them was, " a pair of shoes".. in her favorite color, green. A wish, a hope, which was so petty, when it came to the rest of the world, but in her own world, it was a dream come true.

Dhaanya, went from one shop to the other, then the next and so on and so forth. She shopped till she ran out of cash.

The day was breaking, with its regular speed and pace, the two girls, got mixed up in the whole bunch of shopaholics, it was late evening by now.

'' Wow, it was great only na? that silly photographer left, else we could have never gone for shopping".. Dhaanya said happily.

on the other side, sat, Ramya, with a sullen and pale face, peeping out of the window, with no comments or excitement.

"hey, why have you made that face now''? your new shoes are so pretty, aren't you happy? asked Dhaanya

"I can use those shoes''.. replied Ramya.

''Why ''? asked Dhaanya

''the money, from which i brought these shoes...''

''Ya what's with the money now''? Dhaanya asked, a little irritated now.

''My mom , got it after donating blood in the blood bank''....

it was that guilt, that lingered and their was only silence. On one side, was a girl , who never even bothered about the price, or the money, from where it came, and on one side was Ramya, a victim of circumstances, that money, was so precious, not because she was a needy person, but because, it was her mother's blood, buying just '' a pair of shoes'' can be such a big task?, such a big mistake?.. these questions, always lingered in the back of, Ramya's head... and those shoes.. never came out of the shoe box... just a pair of shoes..

health, life , divinity and 11 minutes

shameless!!!.. yess that's what i am, why just me? all my friends are :D.. we always sit to work at the "11th hour''( one of my teacher's favorite dialogue).... yeah, an all time story, so, as always, it repeated, this time also, didn't work on time , and in the end had to bare the consequences " what you sow you reap".. there has to be some spice in life nah :P?? but , it shouldn't become too spicy also. yeah so, i didn't get the share of my sleep:(..yet another suggestion overrule (mom).

My, fitness program, did start well but :(.. is slacking back now, due to my shoes :(.. remember those days, when i turned a deaf ear to my mom's wise suggestion of not taking those shoes as they weren't my size...hhaahh( deep sigh)... those are long gone days now, so the moral of the story is" listen to your mom, mom's are always right, by default" :P... let's hope i get my ''new pair" of shoes and get back to my fitness program .

Visited the Ganesha in our society, he's adorable as ever :)..prayed to him, and very slyly clicked his snap also hehehe :P...he likes being clicked you see, likes being in the limelight, "famous man ha"... well i actually clicked this picture, for a very special person in my life, i had promised her, that ill make sure she has a look at the chaturthi for sure, its for mitali didi.. she isin't in india, and misses home like anything, specially ganpati festival, which is celebrated with extraa zeal and fervor in Mumbai :)..

By the end of the day, don't know why..? had this mood swing, a kind of dejection, i have been thinking about the same thing all this while, its useless i know, plus , i don't want to create a scene and grab any body's attention, hope i do not behave in any weird manner, i know i won't :).. time to sleep, a bear nap...

lastly, i have completely neglected my book, which i had to complete in a day or two :(..have to do it soon.. loving that book... 11 minutes..

our decked up society and the happening ganesha...