just a "PEACE" of mind

A mundane day breaks..the earth wrapped in a chiffon layer of sunlight...

people wake up, with a lot of new things in mind, what has to be done for the day, all plans, all the dads surely must be thinking about the presentation they have to make in the office while a housewife mom must be worried about what she has to cook for breakfast and hopefully she makes it fast, and her husband and kids don't get late for school.

in all this hustle bustle, as the day begins... at some point of the day, even while working, when your are absolutely tied up... some things.. some memories, some people in the past, some incidents, some recited words or dialogues, do linger in the back of your head, and the sometimes seem to haunt you. Just when you feel that you have started living life with a new hope or aim, life stops you and makes you turn back and see... that the past.. no matter how much you wish to forget or come out of.. does haunt and follow you, curse you and blame you always.

Life is a series of uncertain events, do we ever realize ... how many times we just miss out death in a normal day to work? does that thought ever run down our brain, that may be... while crossing the road today, when we just missed that car and took a deep breath and felt that adventurous escape, we actually could have died there and then. Even when everyone is aware of all the short time span for which we all are together in this world, all we do is "FIGHT" and hold grudges.... experienced a very shocking display of emotions today at work, people were howling and pouncing at each other like beasts, though  its all a part of the experience... but why cant we just wait for a minute and think....did we really make today a memorable one?? for ourselves and for others too?? a memory that would always bring a smile on their faces.. a memory that would give them a positive vibe.. a boost of happiness..

As far as i can see( as much as my contact lenses allow me to)... sometimes there's "ALL LOVE NO WAR" and the very next moment, each and every corner converts into a battleship, be it work, the local trains, the general store guy, Bai at home, your own roomates, the roomates of your roomates, your friend's, freind's friend's, there friends, acquaintance .. everyone seems to be just looking for one chance to SHOOT the other person. Where is the humanity? Love i personally don't understand so id better cal it humanity, kindness, and compassion for others.


Hope to see a positive day tomorrow and a brighter side of life too.. :)

puzzled..

sometimes..life really makes you feel like a piece of puzzle.. that is wrongly packed in a wrong game box... theres no place for it to fit in...no requirement.. away from its slot..far away..today..am very hurt..and not because of an enemy.. not because of an acquaintance.. but because of one of the closest people in life... i guess..all the people who come so close to us.. definitely come so close to hurt us so much and teach us a never forgetting lesson...funny... but true.. a friend who had always been soo close always there...actually went away from me today..something just died inside... i know things will never be the same..but then..i dont knw its a confusing state...whom to blame ..its actually my own nature may be ..i guess somethings are just supposed to be left to time.....

office office

Its September 1st, and its our boss's birthday today, at office,(its my 3rd month of work..just started working :)) everyone is busy preparing for it... ohh i havnt mentioned much about people at office and all the new friends i made recently.
The day i joined, it didnt seem that cool as such i mean it was a very mixed feeling , i am sure most of us feel the same when its like our very 1st job. Just out of college , my friend namrata and i joined this company together actually in better words, we got placed together .. when i entered office , saw this bright blue color with a cool gray combination everywhere.. the best part was when i got my own desk wow.. a good feeling :D hehehe.. my own pc, and bla bla bla , well how my office is i shall go on with that now.. i work in a garment industry, as a designer .. people are absolutely chilled out here.. but whats worth watching in office is,... the second half..:D after lunch eveyrone seems to just go in a different state of mind, theres madness everywhere, running for approvals, there's a huge tugg of war, and on one side.. funny songs from the old rapchik hindi movies keep playing its really a sight :P....and all this madness is followed by a funny local train journey back home, gosh the way women fight and panic is like unbelievable ...threats, warnings, screams, scratching, pinching yelling... you cant even think of anything else.. but ya it really makes you realize that you are alive, because you wish and pray for just a small breath of fresh air, as you are stuffed and jam packed , in that small train compartment, as if Hitler has repeated history and its again the black hole tragedy. 

once i escape from this railway jungle, its time for the "BEST BUSES" what an ironic name they have been given, BEST... god knows from which angle :P... the biggest problem i face is.. that the numbers of the buses are written in the hindi counting, and it s soo damn confusing, everyday i end up running behind an anonymous bus and ask the conductor or the driver if that bus would go to my destination?...pheww.... that's  
how a mundane day is in my life... instead of working right now i am blogging here :P... hehehe

amma...

time has its own ways to get things done, every year around the month of july-august only i suddenly get enlightened to pen down my emotions :) funny thing...

a lot has happened in all these days, many people went many people came, many are there only where they always were, many are just there superficially. college is over now, work has started, things are growing, time is running out, and there is soo much to do stilll..

in all this madness and rage, my life has still been going at its normal smooth course, thanks to all the good people in my life and around me, college did end on a bit bitter note but then as they say, "sabra ka phal meetha hota hai!! " so i guess i can wait for all the fruits and then in the end i can nicely make a fruit salad and hog on it :D.....

I guess that was too much of unnecessary introduction, let me come to the point now, today this post will be dedicated to one of my oldest in fact, not one of my
my grandmother.....

 but THE OLDEST friend of mine...

"अम्मा ""

life is strange... when we are born the only person we know is our mother only, the very 1st one we see in this world, then slowly we meet other relatives , family members, siblings, school starts, we make friends and this list of knowing people goes on and on and on.....

i too started this way, but in all this i also had a very close buddy, that was amma, a small fair figure, wrapped in a cotton kota saree, reddish brown hair as she puts that weird colored dye, a meek physique, solitaires sparkling in the ears with her spex on,, she sits in the winter sun and reads news paper...
her life lies in 3 things.... her transistor, classical indian music and peanuts... amma i still remmeber how on those  chilled winter nights, we used to put that "angeethi"(coal furnace) and you used to set the peanuts on its brim to make them warm and crispy, those shivering mornings, when you used to tell me to wipe myself properly after bath else i would catch cold and i used to get my tiffin ready right before time for school ......

on odd days you used to make semolina kheer, for sis and myself....the best cook :), the best teacher, who taught me maths which i hated like anything, showed me the world with your eyes, when i had almost hidden myself away from geography, took me back in history and taught me stories of the brave jhaansi ki rani, yeah thats what you used to call me whenever i used to fall down and start crying,always worried you used to be about my future " you still haven't donr your home work? your summer vacations are ending soon?" thats what your dialogues always used to be, which in turn made me give you dirty cold looks.

How will i ever forget those evenings, when i used to comb your hair and make two plats out of it and we both used to share a hearty laugh, your getting irritated when i used to pick up things from your study table and never keep them back , those fixed hindi daily soaps that you used to watch by almost sitting inside the television :)...moments when you used to oil my hair and curse me for having such dry hair and never oiling them timely, those afternoons when you used to sleep off while reading a book or the newspaper with your spex on and them leave them somewhere, and kept looking for them for days....

those trips to holy pilgrims we traveled together, those days of poojas in the temple, when you used to have a big proud smile on your face after seeing me attending it cause otherwise i always used to get your taunt" the whole society comes to the temple except for our house " .

those hot sunny days, when we both sat in the rickshaw and went slowly chit chatting , to your tailor or some bank work, and i know you hated me for making you bankrupt on the way, for reminding you to buy unnecessary things ahahaha.....all the lovely cosy nights we all spent together sitting in the quilt playing cards and ludo....

i know i left my best friend mid way.... slowly and suddenly.... ill never be able to forgive myself for abandoning you.... lonely and all on your own....as i grew... my heart shrank smaller and smaller... that love for you never died but ya.. priorities changed... school then college i still remember that day when i was leaving for college, you did cry :( and so did i...after babaji(grandpa) left... i promised myself that ill never let you be alone.. i did keep it but ya after sometime i did break it too....

i know you wont be with me for long, but i wish....i get another chance , just to make you feel special and cherish all those moments again with you..... please don't leave so soon..... :(

...time to let go

don not feel like writing anything these days, there are surely some cosmic and past life connections with some people in your life, i can bet and vouch and swear upon it really.. its been happening since childhood, some one or the other for sure comes across , and that person just takes away everything you ever wished and yearned for.... guess its just destiny, but its really disappointing, but then, its practically in nobody's hands to fidget with it, my mom says, its the best to accept things the way they are and go with the flow, when you know , nothing can be done about it.... i know mum its a very piece of advice but its not that easy...

life's a beautiful puzzle game, with the significance of each and every block,some of them we already find in the game box, while rest we have to hunt for..

i guess... its time to let it go :)... hope i am strong enough to do it..

0 comments..

certain things can actually be termed as"0 comments" they are either too good to be commented upon or too upsetting .. well i have been facing such kinda of situations lately, the '0 comment' situations,though my dussehra was nice, with a funny ravan in the society, and yummy food, gosh we though we would be spotted as some trespassers :P who are just there greedy foody people, but naah we too had invitation hehehe...

it was a full on festive season, ganpati followed by durga pooja,... lights, colors, new clothes, sweets, families, gatherings, music( be it apt or not) fun and frolic everywhere, but there was always a contrast, recently with a very close friend of mine something very unpleasant happened just before Dussehra, her father expired.. i mean, its again a''0 comment'' situation... its like, should one be happy about the fest or sad about the loss??....

these '0 comment' situations sometimes really put you in a very tight spot, just now like, half and hour back, a very dear friend of mine preeti, whom i have mentioned in my earlier posts as well, asked me to come along with her for a short trip to mahabaleshwar, me, despite of wanting to go so badly, still stayed back... reason , some hidden old hesitations and lost old painful memories, which no matte rhow much you try, never seem to get normal..

lastly, this BIG FAT LIZARD, whom i happened to spot just now while talking to my roomi about ghosts and supernatural powers, something i just love to discuss, :p... goshh... i just hope this thing goes away sooonnnnnn....

dhinchak dandiya

finalyyy... dont know after how many days i am writing today was DANDIYA NIGHT!! at college, wahaaoo... well its not so wow also as exciting as its name seems :P..we started practicing in between of our exam jury only, have many gujju girls..in my class, they danced so beautifully, plus i just looovee to dance, be it any form :).. would love to go for this proper professional one some day :) as for now let me tell how it happens in our college :D for better explanation:

• there"s a useless DJ, who tried to be really cool ... but its actually on the contrary .
• this time we all got ready on time but the best part was.. the rains wow.. all of a sudden from nowhere it rained.. everyone thought it was a flop show but naah.. it did happen with full mastii!!..
• A whole lot of people, some over dressed, some under dressed, some least bothered .
• those carefree and care full people at the same time are absolutely '' clueless'' about what's dandiya or even garba ... gosh... what madness happens. people are trying to figure out somehow how do 1 move that 1 step.. but as always after 5 mins... they are back to there ''baraati dance''... ''dhinchak''...
• but it was fun... after sulking for more than a week now, i was really happy for a change,dressed up with full zeal and excitement... love to dress up when i am in a mood, else usually i am just-out-of-bed types :p.
• my roomi , who happens to be from ahmedabad, she taught me garba ... waaahhoooo i just loved it.. always wanted to do that dance in those big huge circles how they show on tv, though never got a chance, but i did learn and it is so soo nice, overwhelms you completely :)
• aha forgot, something was seriously wrong with me today, i was on this fast, but as always i was dancing like a drunkard ..now my legs are completely out of order...
• yeah.. the day was nice... ended on a happy note.. would be even happier if i get a good night sleep.. which i surely will get as i am D-E-A-D tired..