mundane life...

well well well.... after a whole lot of time i am back again with a piece of my life... actually my net wasn't working thanks to Ankit (one of my very good friends with whom i studied in school till class 5 and then we met this year like after almost 13 yrs......!!!!!! gosh! that's a pretty long time i must say but then as he too is studying in Mumbai itself so we are like back as school buddies again) its working again yippie!!

All these days a lot of things happened, after grandma left for her heavenly abode... life has changed, yes a lot, and now it will always be the same, but as time passes we all have to learn to adapt ourselves to the changes, even if we don't wish to..life sometimes doesn't give us choices.

Well i am really not very interested to work my fingers upon the keyboard, text my mind .. use apt words and then end up writing about office and work, therefore a big NO NO, as in a nutshell, things at work are never in place only, and despite of trying like so hard to sneak peak and do blogging. i couldnt manage to :(.. as i was too busy...

but i am happy as i am able to write again. feels good, as my heart has this lock which has lost its key and despite of many tries i am unable to speak out so many things which i used to earlier..therefore writing my feelings and thoughts down, becomes even more imperative..
From past sometime, have been fighting and there has been so  much misunderstanding between some of my closest friend and me... and happened even with one of my bestest friends.. it was a bit shocking how, that friend whom i had always considered like so close, and never had any intentions to hurt or make him feel bad.. chose someone else's friendship over me.. but then as things happened, got messy and nastier by days.. i realized that its really useless to expect so much, i had changed myself completely towards any such expectations but then again some day or the other it kept coming up .. but as i know myself.. m definitely a "hard way" learner.. :) i won't ever blame or curse my friend. i know he never thought bad of me or any such thing but ya, may be with time when such things happen repeatedly ... we tend to move a little away from even the closest of our people..its not his fault.. but what to do...things are sometime involuntary ..

And most of the time its definitely a bad phase and tons of misunderstandings that make you think all wrong only, but that's also not the"only" case.. its all a part and parcel of the same thing, and as it is said.. learn to take life as it comes..

In all this hunting and chasing..i happened to grab hold of a book, absolutely not my genre, and probably the thickest i have ever read... the book called
" KRISHNA KEY" by ashwin sanghi.. as i have some sort of inclination and fascination towards lord krishna. i just bout it , and for the first time in 23 years, read a historic fiction, as i am not a book worm or a voracious reader...but as i keep picking up any random genres and just start off.. its not that bad.. .. these days i am reading " the last lecture" by randy pauch, a book written by a dying man who wants to give a lesson , say those last few things and share his feelings, tell stories, crack anecdotes and say those last few things to his loved ones and even to the world, the concept on the whole seemed very intriguing to me but i dont knw the book isisnt seeming that interesting as such, though have just started,, hehehe too soon to judge.

apart from that, watched this movie called" the life of pi".. i was like spell bound, the whole concept was so thrilling, beautiful imagination, wonder when a  human can be that creative..that how creative GOD must be....also watched the last part of the twilight saga..breaking dawn 2...sadly the saga ends with this part, wished it continued.. :( but then what begins has to end... phew!!! feels relieved.. today . after venting out such small yet important segments of my day to day life :)...

a playground called "LIFE"

One of those moments..when things at your personal as well as professional ends are absolutely haywire..friction everywhere...
why are we always standing at such a crossroad every second day.. where you have to just gulp a lump ..down your throat and show the bestest of your smiles?

certain times things cant even be shared with family , friends , acquaintances or anyone at all.. seems like one will shatter in fact we do shatter but then again you have to get your own duster and a broom and gather your shattered self..
Every soul is literally hunting for "love"...which doesn't even seem to exist...then why are these souls running behind something so virtual so superficial...something extinct...a friend of mine.. who recently became a good friend id say, seems to be in love...with someone who doesn't even believe in this word... despite of my regular and copious trials ..it all seems to be going in vain, how do i make him understand that all this is just a matter of a few moments a few things that might have clicked you by may be talking to someone regularly or something..?
Sometimes i feel really sad.. as it is the very first time that he seems to have fallen in such a feeling and he too feels that its an eternal and never ending feeling.. little does he know that its all a very dull feeling..which never works out....the next moment i also get that feel that .. i am discouraging someone who might be lucky in this gamble of the love thingy... but as i know the person he likes is just opposite to what he is...as in... their natures , views, thoughts, likes dislikes everything is way apart... 

In my own life going off track, sometimes i feel how do i help the ones close to me get on track?the helpless feeling of not being able to do anything about your loved one's issues.. really churns your heart bad...

There is surely something drastic about this year.. the prediction of 2012... don't know f it literally meant that things will end the earth the living beings or the mankind.. but ya on the emotional front... it really did kill a lot of things inside..i really do not know what this year end will bring forth.. but this year will surely be one of the most memorable years in my life.. one by one .. things kept slipping away...and all i could do was just watch... with plain eyes and an expressionless face... all i wish for now.. is that this year ends on a happy note.( which seems to be quite rarely possible)..tonight i want to make a profound prayer for all the loved ones of mine.. close to me in any respect.. attached to me by any means .. with or not with me physically..
as i know.. i can only be happy when these people will be like very happy and in deep solace..all our happiness is intertwined and interlinked...and i am sure.. god almighty will surely make things much much better and bearable for all of us.....

was listening to one of my favorite songs .. by the maestro : A.R. Rehman..(shauk hai~ movie GURU)

a line from this song always resounds in my head...

"kaash ye zindagi... khel hi khel mey kho gayi hoti..."

 and makes me wonder .. what if it was true.. and life could actually be a fun filled play ground..a courtyard where we all used to play as kids and the rules of the game could change as per our convenience... when the youngest of our siblings would get upset after they got caught and were upset about it.. the elder one would step in and ignore it completely and give them another chance...just for a small smile on their face...